blue

it's true. everybody has own life. and so do you. and so do I.

but I need you. and you know that.

I understand if you are not needing me. there will be time when you need your friends more than me, or time when your friends need you more than me.
I understand if you don't have time to chat or at least say hi to me. you are a professional and know when to be fully focused on works and when not to. that's why you always succeed and I'm proud of you,truly.
I understand if you're busy with your works. you're mature already and know exactly how you should do your works. I trust you for managing you time perfectly. that's why I'm holding on waiting for the time that might be planned for me.
I understand if you're so much exhausted and need to take a rest for a while. I believe that must be because you did what you expected well. I do often feel the same way too when I hardly need to take time for rests so I'll be fresh the next day. I just hope you'll be too.
I understand when suddenly I know that you're not doing anything. you're home with your routines and your beloved family. I do understand that maybe you need your time with family without me.
but all the time that had been gone by, I am waiting. and it feels rather.....weird for me to know that what I am waiting for all along is actually behind me and I never know just because it doesn't call me...or at least whisper to tell me.
here I don't want to judge. I just want to declare that I am rather disappointed.
I didn't ask much. I do not ask much. I won't ask much. I just want my feelings to be taken care.
tell me how I should wait, if this way is not right way to wait...

I don't want to be this weak. but being strong is not always as good as I thought.

I love you. I just need you to understand that.